Friday, January 29, 2010

Interlude: A Poem

Occasionally, I get inspired to write things other than church narratives. These are my Interludes.

When I Walk By

When I walk by that door,
I walk by
my passion,
reason for living
excuse for dying
years of lying
to myself.
And crying
to myself.
I face the door that is
like a tempter, a devil,
money that can only be spent
on what I want
now,
Not what I need later.
Disturbing my creator,
who in coddling, slaps my wrist.
When I walk by that door.
A nervous laugh,
just on my behalf,
to fuel my guilt
for glancing, staring, slowing
considering
What the door protects.
Or is it me it protects—
from the hungry pain of a full stomach
and the taunts and torments of my past.
It needs acknowledgment,
But that won’t last,
‘cause I’ll walk by that door.
Past the diabetic coma, the preexisting condition,
The constant admission
of satisfaction over love,
self over God,
room behind door.
The scents of immediate peace
clouds my judgment.
I find the inwards intriguing,
the onwards fatiguing…
And a step is just a step—
not a step away,
not a step into,
a step by—
over and over again.
But walk by I will,
For the willingness is not only mine,
Later I’ll walk by still,
Less than likely fine,
But well within my soul
When I walk by that door.

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